Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
high people should be assigned attendants
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
