fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You need Xanax blowdarts
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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