God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
