he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I party with great urgency now.
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