Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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