WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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