yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MIDGETS
????
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
