Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
