If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
