Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
