belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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