I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're a waste of cheezeits
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
