if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
