I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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