Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
