I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
