I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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