tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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