I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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