I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
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