piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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