having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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