I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am naked and annoyed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
