Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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