I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
