There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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