Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
