He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We need to get me chipped asap
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
