Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
