Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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