I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
