I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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