Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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