hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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