just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
