But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
