ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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