I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
