Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
