Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
