i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
false alarm, still single
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