my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
