Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
