my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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