he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
