so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Someone shit on the floor
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
