i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
