That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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