We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
