soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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