It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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