What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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