Whod you bang
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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