we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
