I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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