how can u be prego again
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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