That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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