hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
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I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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