i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came so hard my ears popped.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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