so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
