you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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