How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize