Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
