nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground