i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.