if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!