Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
