Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need moral support for this bender
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize