Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
