So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
