I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
