My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
