How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
